Emily Dickenson as hazing.

Parody from Video Meliora.

"You walk by many of the reading fraternity houses and hear 'Drop and give me 20!' only then you hear the pledge having to recite twenty lines from the Iliad," said Sheriff P. Coltrane, who is investigating excessive reading at many fraternity houses. "It's gonna make these kids go blind, 'cuz they're reading ten, sometimes twenty hours a day in addition to their school work."

I love the photo of the tatoo'd guy reading his Kindle in a bathtub. Thanks Dylan!